Dear Pastor,: I am 33 and became a Christian two years ago, got baptised and joined my church. I have three children with three different women but when I became a Christian and went into church I realised that none of those women would make a good wife.
Two of them told me I would not keep up my Christianity and they tried to test me by coming to my house and I told them that I am done with all that we were doing. One of them caused me to fail the test. She came over after work and took a shower and came out naked. When I told her to put on her clothes she wouldn’t listen to me. She spent the night with me so I failed the test. I had to change the lock on my door with the permission of my landlady.
I met a lady in church and we started to go out. She is very beautiful. She doesn’t have children. She told me that she had sex with a couple of guys but that was all. She sings on the choir. She said that she doesn’t trust men because the last man she was in a relationship with made her promises but didn’t keep them and when she missed him he was gone to Canada.
After a year we told the pastor that we were in love and we wanted to get married. He met with us and counselled us and told us no sex before marriage, so we did not have sex. After we got married and we had sex, my wife looked like she timed me. In about 15 minutes she told me it was time for me to stop. I had to try hard to discharge. I was upset. I tried again the following night and she did the same thing and I decided that I would not stop. Because of how I positioned her she couldn’t get away, so we stayed longer doing it.
The other time she told me that she was not going to have sex in that position again so when I was trying she kept saying no, no. Eventually, we started and again after about 15 minutes she told me to hurry up and discharge because she does not like any man on her for so long. I love my wife. I asked her why she doesn’t like sex. She said that she likes sex but she doesn’t like to do it long. Sometimes when I am just getting into it she wants me to stop. What can I do to get her to have sex with me longer?
Dear T.C.,: Your wife is always killing the vibes. I doubt that she means to do so, but that is what she is doing anyway. To her, sex is not fun. Right now she sees it as an obligation and by giving you a little of it she thinks that she has done her duty. From what you have written, it is tough on you. It seems to me that you are going to have to take your wife before a marriage counsellor and trash out this matter.
The question is, is she totally satisfied during the short duration of having sex? Perhaps she is, but you are not, so you would have to show her that she is being very selfish and that she has an obligation to satisfy you too. A period of 15 minutes when having sex is not short. Some men cannot last for 15 minutes. However, for some it is really short. People must realise that having sex is not necessarily making love. It would seem to me that your wife and yourself are equating sexual penetration and lovemaking as the same. Lovemaking includes, foreplay, etc. I repeat, take this woman to see a marriage counsellor.
Source: Jamaican Star